It is a cold winter night in January when you find your child on deaths door. They are in their mid twenties and have not been in contact for many months. You enter their apartment with the landlord of the building opening the door for you.
The sight you see only could be seen in some movie, however this is no movie. Your child is nothing but skin and bones. In the apartment is only a bed as everything that they had owned is gone.
This is the last thing you had thought could happen to them. Looking into their eyes the is only a blank stare you see. At least they are alive.
Within an hour or so and with the help of first responders, you child is in the safety of the hospital. The ward they are taken to is one of the locked wards of the mental health wing. In the next week that follows they sign themselves in and then the work from the doctors to find out what is happening to your child. The doctors run tests and a diagnosis is reached, it is schizophrenia.
Is this scene troubling to you? What would you do in this situation or even know how to manage your emotions from the start? As a parent, could you handle knowing that from this moment forward that this is going to change you and your family life?
If you are able to answer these questions or that it has happened to you, what is the course did you take? This very thing happened to me. The only thing is it was my mother who found me. Since 2005 my life has been a long recovery to get to this point I am at now here in August of 2023, nearly twenty years.
I was told that I would not be able to work anymore, however I went back to work and until 2020 I worked full-time until my mental health became more important than a job. Meaning that my illness got worse which is why I retired. I was told I would be in and out of hospital for the rest of my life, I have only been back in hospital twice and in February of 2010 was the last time due to my schizophrenia.
I have taken a stance that I was not going to be another number in the system when it comes to mental health. With both cases when I was hospitalized, it was me who made the decision. The first time was because I went off my pills under doctor supervision to see if I needed them. The second time was because I was having thoughts of ending my life; the reason was because I did not want to continue to fight the illness anymore.
On the second occasion, the nurse who was in charge of my case took me for coffee. We got our coffee’s and then she took me to the main mental hospital for Saskatchewan. She got me in and then took me on a tour. It was a couple hours of her showing me where I could end up. She opened up my eyes and well the rest of the time that I was at the regular hospital in North Battleford’s mental health wing. I spent it to figure out what I was going to do with my life.
Since that time, I have worked to be an example of the mentally ill who has risen about the illness. I still battle it every day, however I am always seeing each day as another start for me to continue to fight the stigma of mental illness.
When I retired in September of 2020 because of my health, I had to see what I was wanting to do for the rest of my life. I have chosen to continue with my career as an author. For each book that I write I am giving a light for someone who has just been diagnosed with a mental illness or someone who is struggling to keep up the fight for themselves.
Think of what impact would happen for the mental health community if the negative stigma was to be changed. I know that it would make it better for those who suffer from mental illness.
Stay safe.
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